Fall & Halloween Cocktails!

[Disclaimer: This is a list of TERRIBLE holiday drinks and you should not make them for any reason. If you are looking for legitimately good cocktail ideas, check out the rest of this month's posts]

Themed cocktails tend to be a bad idea. There are some tried and true concepts that fit with the seasons, however, like a Hot Toddy or a Flip in the winter, sparkling cocktails and Juleps in the summer, using fresh fruit in spring, and spices in the fall. Through the modern age when artificially flavoured liqueurs became commonplace, "holiday cocktails" started making appearances, usually concoctions bred by a child-like affinity for sugar and bright colours, and a complete lack of both knowledge and what would be considered a palate. Do themed drinks have to be this awful? Can a drink not be festive and delicious? With it being harvest time, and Halloween around the corner, I decided to put together a little fall-themed series. I challenged several skilled bartenders to create an original drink using fall flavours, or if they so choose, a Halloween theme. Throughout the month I will be posting each of these drinks with recipes for all to share.

[Scroll to the bottom of this post for links to the good Halloween cocktails!]

To kick things off I decided to start with some great examples of bad Halloween "cocktails," so I scoured websites and magazines for the worst possible excuses for mixed drinks I could find. This was a depressing and unpleasant exercise. The more I found the more "Halloween drink" became defined as a mixture of any coloured ingredients to produce a black, green, or red product. My suspicions were confirmed when I stumbled across this gem from a Halloween-themed website. I have not edited any of the text.

Booda's Black Brew
    1 oz Malibu rum
    3/4 oz Blue Curacao
    3/4 oz Chambord raspberry liqueur
    1/2 oz Grenadine
    Fill with Cranberry juice
    Fill with Ice.
Hurricane Glass Fill with Ice 1oz. Malibu Rum or Parrots Bay Coocnut Rum 3/4oz. Blue Curacao 3/4oz. Chambord 1/2oz. Grenadine Fill with Cranberry Top and Shake
Creator/contributor's comments: "Well it was Halloween Night I was working (being the Rookie). I shaved my head and all my facial hair and I dressed up as Buhhda.Anyway some really hot chick asked me to make a Witches Brew. Me being a Rookie I didnt know how to make it. So to impress this girl I flew around the Bar I work at picking up every dark looking liquior trying to make something that looked and tasted cool. Then Pow she dark it and asked me "what the Hell was that??" and it just came out "Booda's Black Brew" I said. She licked her lips and says "Damn give me another!!" Then all her Fine little friends came and asked me for some Booda's Black Brew!!! And So a Drink was Born. I work at the ... in FL and I have been called Booda for Years now so everything fit into place."

This is a great example of why holiday drinks have a bad reputation - but I found worse. Melon liqueur makes a regular appearance, particularly in "shots," but I also found candy corn-infused spirits, numerous candy garnishes, and a wealth of "-tinis" with 3oz of cream. I did not find a single drink that was stirred and not shaken. Numerous drinks on my list were found on professional sites from working bartenders and "mixologists."

I am skipping "shots" mostly because they contain fewer ingredients and therefore less opportunity for ridiculousness, but a couple deserve mention: "Alligator Piss" with equal parts melon liqueur, peach schnapps, southern comfort, amaretto, and a dash of sweet and sour sauce, and the "Ghostbuster," with peach schnapps, melon liqueur, and a dribble of Irish cream liqueur for the ghost effect. The former deserves mention because it was the worst "shot" I could find, and the latter to demonstrate the typical holiday style of looks over taste.

I encourage everyone to leave a comment or send me a message/email if you know of any awful Halloween drinks that aren't included here. Also, make sure you check out the actually good fall and Halloween cocktails from the links at the bottom of this post!

Here are the worst I could find:

Green Monster
1oz Cointreau
1oz peach schnapps
1oz Southern Comfort
1oz vodka
1oz melon liqueur
Shake
Top with 1/2 pint of apple cider and 1/2 pint lager

Red Devil
1/2oz gin
1/2oz vodka
1/2oz whiskey
1/2oz triple sec
1/2oz banana liqueur
1tbsp lime juice
2oz orange juice
Shake

Salem Witch
1/2oz vodka
1/2oz raspberry schnapps
1/2oz midori melon liqueur
Splash of lime
Shake and fill with 2/3 sour mix and 1/3 soda then top with a splash of grenadine.

Graveyard
1 or 1/2 package Triple sec
1 or 1/2 package Bacardi 151 proof rum
1 or 1/2 package Vodka
1 or 1/2 package Gin
1 or 1/2 package Tequila
1 or 1/2 package Bourbon
1 or 1/2 package Scotch
Beer
Stout
“Mix the 5 whites and 2 whiskies in a beer mug in equal amounts. Top up the rest of the mug with half beer and half stout.”
(I left the text as is to be true to the recipe, but I'm assuming "package" means "oz." I have also seen "package" written as "pint" on other sites.)

Chambord Candy Apple Martini       
1oz Chambord liqueur
1oz vodka
3/4oz apple schnapps
Splash of Tuaca liqueur
Rim a chilled cocktail glass with caramel (or caramel syrup).
Combine all ingredients in a shaker with ice, and shake until chilled.
Strain into the prepared glass.
Serve garnished with an apple slice.

(In the interest of not making this post a novel, I am posting more terrible Halloween cocktails on a different post should you want to see more.) 

This month will be my attempt at turning this cliche around. It may seem tacky to create a holiday drink, but in the hands of a skilled professional the results are going to be tasteful and delicious. Check out the contributions so far below (and stay tuned for more throughout the month).

The Fall Cocktail Series:
You can see more terrible Halloween cocktails here
"Death & Oranges" by Donnie Wheeler
"Jones' Bitter Aperitif" by Evelyn Chick
"The Satchmo" by Simon Ogden 
"Dark City" by Jay Jones
Classic Halloween Cocktails
"The Giant Huntsman" by Lauren Mote
"The Bay Harbour Butcher" by Shaun Layton
"A Nightmare On Juniper Street" by Shea Hogan 

[[ Originally published on www.shakestir.com ]]

[ Photography by www.blogs.babble.com/family-kitchen
and www.thefamilygroove.com ]

Bittered Sling Extracts: Evelyn Chick at Uva Wine Bar

Next up is another newcomer to the site - the very talented Evelyn Chick from Uva Wine Bar in Vancouver. Just a block away from busy, noisy, neon-lit, and club-laden Granville Street, the Moda Hotel, restored from its 1908 glory, houses both award-winning Cibo Trattoria and Uva. Warmer, calmer, and more stylish than anything a block away, Uva offers a great alternative to a lot of the downtown hustle-bustle both during the day as an espresso bar, and at night with delicious Italian-style snacks, great wines and beers, cocktails, and even live music on choice evenings.

While Uva is, yes, known for their wine program, they're also known for their cocktails, a very modern collection of classic variations and culinary-inspired experiments. Some new creations may pique the interests of the spirit-forward types, like the "Cuban Monk," featuring Havana Blanco rum, maraschino, yellow Chartreuse, Hennessey V.S. cognac, and Angostura bitters, while classic variations like the "Highline" have my mouth watering just writing this out: vanilla and orange-peel infused Maker's Mark bourbon, Amaro Averna, Fernet Branca, and Benedictine. From there things start to get more "mixological" in nature, as Evelyn tries to create cocktails to pair well with chef Neil Taylor's belief in always using fresh, seasonal, and local ingredients. You'll find lots of infusions, such as the current bourbon sour with candied rhubarb-infused Bulleit, as well as spiced syrups, and even simply prosecco draped in local fruit.

Evelyn has kindly offered to share two original cocktails using both the Bittered Sling Moondog and the Peach & Pepper. Like Justin at Yew, Evelyn's culinary and modern approach to mixing drinks makes great use of the like-minded Kale & Nori products.
First up is a Dark & Stormy variation using tea and all-spice syrup that Evelyn describes as "soft, smokey, and smooth."

Bermuda Summers

2oz Gosling's Black Seal Rum
2oz House-made ginger red tea
3/4oz lemon juice
1/2oz all-spice syrup
Dash of Bittered Sling Moondog Extract

Shake all ingredients with ice and serve in a tall glass over crushed ice.

All-Spice Syrup
1/2L water
2 teaspoons ground all-spice (nutmeg, cardamom, cinnamon, anise)
1L sugar
Add all-spice to the water and bring to a boil. Add sugar and lower heat to medium-low and stir occasionally until the sugar is dissolved.


Next is another of her classic twists, this time on the iconic James Bond drink, The Vesper, where she uses lemon perserve-infused vodka with (one of my favourites) Martin Miller's gin, and swaps Kina Lillet with the marvelously fruity Pineau de Charentes fortified wine. Infusing the vodka with preserves gives a much fuller, stronger, and sweeter flavour than just infusing with peel, and at Uva they use 3-month-old preserves infused for a week in jars with the vodka. If trying a similar infusion at home, Evelyn offered her suggestion of doing 5 lemons per 750mL of vodka, simply using thin peels and letting them sit together in an air-tight jar for a week.
Evelyn explains that this drink "is shaken, not sitrred, as this is the very phrase that conjures up images of Sean Connery, natty in his tuxedo about to break the bank at baccarat."

Vesper Lynd

1.5oz Lemon-Infused Sobieski Vodka
1oz Martin Miller's Gin
1/2oz Pineau de Charentes
Dash of Bittered Sling Peach & Pepper

Combine ingredients with ice, shake, and strain into a cocktail glass.

Next time you're downtown, make a stop at Uva and give the drinks a try - particularly the Vesper Lynd as the Peach & Pepper extract is of limited supply, or even just the ever-changing Uva Bourbon Sour made with seasonal fruit (currently it's strawberry). Maybe even have a little dinner at Cibo first, or plan a trip the next time they have some live music (check the website here).
Thanks to Evelyn for her contribution to the Bittered Sling series!



See the Bittered Sling introduction here
See Dani Tatarin from The Keefer mix something up in her Chinese apothecary-style here
See Justin Taylor from Yew mix up some infused and barrel-aged spirits here
See Jay Jones from Market create a spirit-forward classic here 
See Grant Sceney use his barrel-aged Cointreau here
See David Wolodidnyk's world-wide competition-winning cocktail here

Neutral Spirits Part 2: Vodka

Last time I discussed tasting neutral spirits to gain a better understanding of what exactly that means, and gain a better understanding of spirits in general. I walked out of that seminar with more of an appreciation for vodka - though I still don't have much. I have more respect for certain brands such as Cariel, who specifically use Swedish winter wheat and barley to make the vodka, opposed to cheap brands who use a range of cheap materials. Add in a cheaper and faster process to actually producing the spirit and you have not only undesirable flavours but also a higher number of byproducts like congeners, which are major contributers to hangovers.
I also gained more of a respect for vodkas that taste truly clean. After tasting neutral spirits that were actually quite heavy in flavour and aroma, you realize the amount of care and work it would take to properly remove those flavours. Of course, I still sit here wondering why you want want to remove flavours and aromas at all, which is really why I don't like vodka in the first place. I could just sit here and drink water, which is also flavourless and aromaless - but is also free. (Of course, water won't get you drunk. Ah, there's the rub...)

Something Duff talked a fair bit about as well was why vodka often has a bad reputation among knowledgeable bartenders and mixologists. My opinion, on top of the fact that it's flavourless and therefore boring, is that it's consistently used simply as a tool to get shit-faced. Bartenders have been pouring sugar and artificial flavours down our throats for years, and the spirit that encourages that sort of behaviour is one that gets you drunk without tasting like anything. Duff also discussed the marketing gimmicks behind certain vodka brands. Why is it that Grey Goose should cost more than Smirnoff if they are both essentially colourless, flavourless spirits made from grains and vegetables in a quick and cheap fashion that doesn't require any kind of aging? Because Grey Goose decided to sell their product for more.
That's IT.
That's the only reason.
Some genius (no sarcasm at all) at Grey Goose decided that if he just priced his bottles at double the average price, people would assume that it's better quality. Add in droves of ignorant bartenders who assume the same thing and display their Grey Goose on the top shelf behind the bar... then add in an ad campaign that claims that the wheat is harvested for only 2 days a year while the neon rainbows glow and the sun hits the ancient tomb at mid-day, from a certain field in southern France where sacred doves from French monasteries lay eggs after they've been brushed with fairy-dust by French nuns, and so on. The reality is that Grey Goose is made the same way every other vodka is made: they harvested some grains and vegetables, fermented them, distilled them a couple times, and bottled them. The only difference is that one guy who decided to make a smart ad campaign and price the bottles at double what they should be.

So in the end, I guess what I'm saying is that vodka is colourless and flavourless and therefore boring and not useful or interesting in cocktails, and that Grey Goose is overpriced and overrated. I'm also saying that, like anything, there are some good brands out there because there are distillers who care about the grains and process involved, and it can be enjoyed for what it is under proper circumstances.
Ok, I still think it's boring, but at least I have proper respect for those who care about it.

Also check out what Jamie Boudreau thinks about vodka, because I think he hits all the nails on the head.

Oh, and p.s., there is one consistently good use for vodka, and that's in making syrups, tinctures and bitters. That's all I use it for, anyway.

Neutral Spirits

A lot of time has passed since the Art of the Cocktail festival in Victoria, but I'm still going to talk about a couple seminars I went to because they were not only engaging but extremely informative. First of all, I should say that the festival was tons of fun and extremely affordable for what you get - it's more than half the price of the Tales of the Cocktail festival that was just in Vancouver yet it has basically all the same events. There probably aren't as many spirit companies and personalities attending, and definitely not the same crowds (I mean, it's Victoria), but it was still a hell of a party. The tasting night alone was worth the price of admission, where you wander around a giant conference area in which spirit, liqueur, and restaurant representatives show off their products and offer you "small" samples (" " because some of them were definitely full-sized) of their choice of cocktail and food. Each drink cost you a ticket, each worth a dollar, and you get 5 just for showing up.
The most valuable part of these festivals is probably the seminars, though, as you can hear famous and decorated personalities from all over the world talk about the world of alcohol and mixology for a good hour. Every seminar focuses on something very different, and they aren't just for people in the industry. I feel like I chose the best of seminars, as I had the pleasure of world-renknowned cocktail and spirit personality Philip Duff discuss "neutral" spirits, and Darcy O'Neil from www.artofdrink.com discuss the science of taste and how flavours interact with each other.

Today I'll focus on the former. Duff was actually there as a representative of a new vanilla vodka by Cariel that sponsored the seminar, and luckily was charismatic and smart enough to take things in an interesting direction and keep us all entertained. I say that because vodka is boring and flavourless (literally), and flavoured vodkas are, for the most part, full of artificial additives, bad flavours, and are cheaply produced spirits. So, Duff not only found a really exciting direction to take us all, he also spent most of the seminar on one particular subject - neutral spirits. Vodka is just a distilled neutral spirit that has been distilled more times over to remove all flavours and colours. Water is added to dilute to the appropriate proof, and voila, there's your vodka. But what does "neutral spirit" mean, exactly?

If a grain is germinated, fermented, then distilled, the product is a "neutral spirit," meaning that nothing has been done other than the aforementioned processes. If the neutral spirit is then aged, it can be considered a whiskey, if the neutral spirit is steeped in juniper and other herbs, it can be considered a gin, and so on. Similarly, grapes can be fermented (wine) and distilled to give brandy, malt wine can be distilled to give genever, and again - so on. So often you will hear a spirit or liqueur use the term "neutral spirit" when describing the process by which the product is made, and none of us really give a thought as to what the neutral spirit is because it's, well, neutral. But is it? The general understanding is that this spirit is flavourless and for all intensive purposes identical to all others regardless of the material from which it was distilled. As we came to discover from Duff's presentation, this is not the case.

After a (somewhat) brief history lesson on distillation, grains and cereals, and the basic types of spirits, we turned our attention to a series of unlabelled plastic cups in front of us. Each contained a "neutral" spirit, and as Duff went through some information about different kinds of grains and distillation processes, we tasted the raw spirit from each type. I was completely shocked to discover that each of the "neutral spirits" had not only very strong flavours and aromas, but were also all extremely different from one another. For example, the corn spirit tasted like gym socks (you probably know what I mean if you've tried unaged 100% corn whiskey), whereas the wheat spirit was light, grainy and somewhat sweet. Tasting a simple bourbon after the corn spirit was very interesting as I could see how important not only the composition of the mash (mixture of grains) is to the taste, but also the aging process. One of the most interesting cups was one Duff brought as a little treat - it was an unreleased type of genever that was designed to recreate the original Dutch genevers of old. Tasting the malt wine neutral spirit then the Dutch genever was exciting, but the crazy part was then tasting Irish Whisky. I was surprised to notice the similarities. Eventually, in the last couple minutes we finally arrived at the sponsor vanilla vodka (which at least is flavoured with natural vanilla) to show the process come full circle, and of course value Cariel for making their vodka from a specific kind of wheat. 

It was an extremely valuable experience for my palate, and extremely informative for someone interested in spirits. I never really thought about exactly what the neutral spirit might be in a product, but now I can't stop wondering any time I taste something. I've also started thinking a lot more about the mash of whiskeys. Taking a sip of Bulleit, Buffalo Trace, or Wild Turkey bourbon I can't help but notice more spice notes from the higher rye contents in comparison to ones like Maker's Mark and Knob Creek. Furthermore, I can't help but wonder what cheap brands of any kind of spirit use as their base because so many don't list anything at all (most major, cheap brands are actually made at multiple distilleries in multiple locations around the world, then all blended together in an attempt to achieve a solitary flavour).  

I'll be back tomorrow to chat a little more about Duff's presentation, but also to briefly discuss vodka. Click here to see "Neutral Spirits Part 2."

And please follow me on Twitter for more updates, facts, and fun! @RhettAWilliams